


Shades of Insanity

by Kadira



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-28
Updated: 2007-06-28
Packaged: 2017-11-16 20:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kadira/pseuds/Kadira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe the Master isn't the only one who is insane...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shades of Insanity

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Utopia, The Sound of Drums, a really small one for Family of Blood

"He's mad!" Martha and Jack have insisted, and maybe they are right. Maybe the Master is mad. But that won't change anything. He is still a Time Lord, the only other one beside him, and the Doctor couldn't just let Jack kill him, or worse, do it himself.

He was serious when he said that he wanted to save him. He still is. Toclafane, aging him, drums, and everything. It's about the only thing he's still sure about as he stands here at the window, watching Earth burn and waiting for whatever will happen next. And maybe he's mad as well for just thinking these thoughts. Maybe he always was and just didn't notice it before.

He isn't too worried. Martha got away and Jack, well Jack is Jack. He won't just die, not on him. In a way, it's too bad that his instincts are so repelled by the Captain, because Jack might just be the ideal companion.

Apart from the fact that Jack is still human and that he is a Time Lord and that he yearns to be with a Time Lord again, to be among his own kind, at least for some time.

A Time Lord, like the Master.

As if having read his mind, there's a sound at the door. He doesn't turn around as a key is turned and the door opens.

"How are you feeling, Doctor?" the Master asks, sounding almost sane now.

"Splendid," he says. "My bones are a bit aching, but I suppose that comes with age. Otherwise I'm fine."

"You still haven't lost your spirit. Admirable."

He turns his head briefly and shrugs. "After all the time I've known you, it takes a bit more to make me lose that."

"You shouldn't have come here," the Master says, stepping out of the shadows. He looks tired.

"I had to."

"You still think so?"

He nods. It's about the only thing he's still sure about.

"I could kill you now. Just so."

"That's nothing new, is it?"

"You can't stop them. Or me."

"Unfortunately not."

"Then what do you want? Help me? Save me?" The Master laughs and the illusion of sanity flees in that one instant.

"That thought crossed my mind," he still says, honestly.

"I hate to disappoint you, but that is impossible, just like in the past. I don't want to be saved."

"Yeah," he says, softly. "I figured that much."

"Your precious humans think that I'm crazy."

He shrugs. "Can you blame them?"

The other Time Lord steps beside him in front the window. There are still fires burning, illuminating the sky and the Toclafane, who don't move at all now that the first slaughter is over. "Do you remember the old times?" the Master asks then, his voice barely more than a faint whisper as he breaks the strange silence that has settled over them.

He nods. "How could I forget them?" And he has tried to banish the images of the past, of _their_ past. Over and over again. Without success.

"What are they?" he tries again, pointing outside the window.

"Honestly?" The Doctor nods. "I don't know. They contacted me, offered their help."

"To destroy the word?"

The Master laughs. "It looks that way, doesn't it?" is all he says and the Doctor doesn't ask further, because the other Time Lord maybe really doesn't know much more.

"Shouldn't you be with your wife?"

"She's busy, dancing to the sound of the drums," he says and there's a strange smile on his lips. "I can't let you go," he adds after a moment.

"I wouldn't go anyway," the Doctor says and this time he smiles faintly.

"I don't believe you. The moment I've de-aged you, you'll try to escape and to stop me."

He wishes he could say that this thought has crossed his mind, but it hasn't and so he shakes his head. "No, it's out of my hands now. Maybe Martha will find help and do something, but not me."

He can feel the piercing gaze from the side. "That doesn't sound like you."

Maybe not, but he's so damn tired of fighting. "I meant it when I said I was lonely," he just says then, as if that would explain everything. Then, before he is even aware of it, he adds: "I want to be with you. At least for the moment. To be among my kind again." It isn't a plea, merely a statement.

"Despite everything? Despite that I took over your precious Earth?" He sounds disbelieving, yet there's something more in the voice, the Doctor thinks. Or maybe he's just imagining the nuance of hope there.

"It seems so."

He can see the shake of the head out of the corner of his eye. "And people accuse me of being insane. But you still won't go anywhere, Doctor."

The Doctor shakes his head. He is where he wants to be. Not exactly in the right situation, it could definitely be better, but he wants to be here, with the other Time Lord. Maybe it's just another proof that he isn't entirely sane anymore either, or that he has finally fallen over the edge, but there's not much he can do about it. "But can you promise me one thing?"

There's a knowing grin on the other's face. "I knew you would start with your conditions soon enough. But you're not in any position to bargain. I hope you realize that."

Oh, he is very well aware of that, but this he still has to do. "Just don't hurt Jack anymore, Master," he says, slowly turning his head to face the Master. It's amazing just how difficult every movement can be when you are old. He has almost forgotten how it feels. "Just let him go. Send him to wherever you sent the rest of Torchwood, somewhere he can't be a danger to you."

"Do you love him? Because he certainly loves you, Doctor." Instead of scorn, there's just curiosity in the other's gaze and voice.

"No, I don't love him," he says. "He's wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. You can feel it too, can't you? But he's still a friend."

For a moment they just look at each other in some sort of silent communication. When he feels the pressure against his mind, he doesn't fight back or refuses, but lets the other in, allows the Master to walk through his memories and his feelings, lets him see everything he wants to see. He closes his eyes when he feels the cool hand against his cheek, caressing the old, dry skin there and can't quite suppress a sigh when lips press against his own, painfully familiar and unfamiliar at once. The small contact awakes memories of a much brighter (if not less difficult) past, drags up images of what was and could have been and strengthens his longing for _more_.

"That will hurt. Just as much as the aging," the Master says when he pulls back and he thinks he hears something like regret in the other's voice.

"Well, if everything else fails and I get a heart attack, I will just regenerate, so I don't have much to lose, do I?" Apart from the fact that he has become quite fond of the body, but a new regeneration isn't one of his main problems at the moment.

"It would be a pity," the Master says and smirks in a way that makes the Doctor chuckle, despite the situation, despite everything. "But you're mad. I hope you know that, Doctor."

"Maybe I am," he says. And maybe he should tell the Master that he isn't the only one who hears things. Maybe he should tell him about the _Exterminate_ that follows him wherever he goes, and about the crackling of fire, which he hears and sees since their world was destroyed, no matter what he does or where he is, even when he's asleep. Or maybe he should tell him about the little girl he sees in the mirrors, begging him to release her.

Maybe that would help. Or maybe it would just establish that he is indeed crazy as well. And right now, it might not even be for the worst. At least then he'd have an excuse for this desire, even as Earth is burning and people are dying and his world is collapsing around him.

Then again, the other probably already saw that all and much more when he read his mind, and maybe they are all just suffering from a different shade of insanity, which in the end forms their eternal bond.

"Ready, Doctor?"

He nods, eyes locked with that of the Master as he waits for the pain to begin.

**-.-.-.-.-.**


End file.
